It's almost Memorial Day!
Perfect time to review my policy about kids.
In a nutshell, I can't stand them. In the off-season, I will TOLERATE them, but I'll never enjoy their company. They are psychopaths.
I'm allowed to say that; I was a kid once.
During peak season from Memorial Day to Columbus Day, all kids need to be 10 and older.
I know your 9-and-under little ones are angels. So do them a favor and take them someplace with games, swimming pools, and soundproof floors.
The only thing we have hear is Victorian wood construction, singles and couples trying to get away for a weekend, and one innkeeper that's still sour about the 7-year-old that trashed his antique typewriter (You know who you are, Jenny. Those pink hair ribbons aren't fooling anyone. You're a little tornado. Consider yourself banned from Scarborough Inn... until on your 10th birthday you buy me two scoops of lemon cookie pretzel from Hobby Horse Ice Cream Parlor around the corner at which point I will reevaluate your inn access privileges).
After Columbus Day and before Memorial Day I will begrudgingly host your 9-and-under little sacks of... joy.
As for the rest of you, if you caught my intentional hear/here switcheroo, pat yourself on the back.