This Is Your Innkeeper Writing

I haven't written you in a while. Shame on me! Lots of ups and downs (for all of us). Christmas is in the air, New Year's Eve is filling up, the mom had a heck of a year, our second annual Holiday Historic Home Tour filled up (but guests still get tickets, so book now!), my kid policy is a riot, I turned 50 (but I don't look a day over 49 and a half), and I have a Christmas playlist for those of you going into Mariah overdose.

Note: all awesome photos herein are by Orangerie Greenbrook. The rest are by me.

Let's dive in and check out all the awesome stuff that's been happening since my last update, shall we?

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Holiday Historic Home Tour

My neighbors and I put on an all-volunteer free house tour last year. We invited owners of historic homes to deck their halls and open their doors to the general public. And twenty-one of them were crazy enough to say yes! It was a huge hit last year, so we decided to do it again this year. Tickets are sold out (they're free but gone). But you can book a room here and I'll hold a ticket or two for you. You've never seen OCNJ quite like this.

Here's the first page of my write-up on the tour. Click to read the full article.

This was truly a community-building event. A lot of work purely for love of the game. Guests got to explore hidden gems throughout town filled with antiques, stories, and tons of texture and character. And every host became a local celebrity for the night. Guests were just as eager to talk to each home owner as they were to visit the houses.

The hosts and volunteers met-up for a private tour

You can click here to read my full write-up about the inspiration for the tour.

OCNJ Drone took this sweet pic last year during the home tour. Check out their website at ocnjdrone.com

And again, you can book a room here to see your favorite beach town like you've never seen it before.

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Home for Christmas

For some, this town is a one-season playground. For others, it's a place to commute to. For a small but growing number of us, it's a place we're lucky enough to call a loving home. A comforting beacon that thrills us every time we come back over the Ninth Street Bridge. Every. Single. Time.

Thank you, Claudia and Scott (Oct28 Productions), for once again capturing what a meaningful community this is.

Please share with anyone you think feels the same way about this town. And get our your Kleenex. This video gets everybody that has a heart.

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The Big C

Last year was a rocky year (wow, it really has been a while since I wrote).

But the good news is that mom is off chemo!

(Bad news for those of you late to the game: mom had been diagnosed with cancer early last year and had been run through the chemo wringer).

But late last year we celebrated. My mom hadn’t had a party for herself literally ever. She always put her husband and kids ahead of herself.

Thank you, everyone that came out to celebrate mom’s health. These past few years have taught us not to take anything for granted, especially health.

While we knew chemo would be a hard journey, we weren’t prepared to see it erode our mom, physically, mentally, emotionally.

We also weren’t prepared for the overwhelming kindness of friends, of family, of staff, of strangers. You came when we called you. You came when we didn’t.

Again, we take nothing for granted. We’re never out of the woods. But when we had something to Re-Joyce you showed up. Thank you all for being there for us, in person and in spirit, throughout the past two years.

Mom felt loved. We all did.

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Christmas Playlist

Tired of "All I Want for Christmas Is You" yet? Maybe "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" is what brings out your inner Grinch.

Well I made a Christmas Playlist that doesn't suck. Give it a listen. I made it so Monica and Jackie wouldn't get retail flashbacks from their former pre-innkeeping lives.

Click here to listen to and follow Scarborough Christmas on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4tZagTK512xlFD4qpmVcuC?si=388caa2a415746e1

Let's see if I can get that paltry 71 likes up to triple digits. Now sit back and let Ella, Billie, and the Ronettes bring you back to less saccharine times.

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I Turned the Big Five Oh!

I know. What was I thinking?

But it's true. Mathematically, 1974 was half a century ago. So I decided to turn 50.

Thank you John Hoey and His Orchestra for being the musical prong of everything we're trying to do here. Thank you, family, friends from CMU, from the East Village, and new friends from Scarborough Inn that came from far and wide to be with me as I turn the corner into the back nine.

All I have to say is that it's weird being the same age as old people.

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A Clarification on My Kids Policy

People think I hate kids.

"Hate" is such a... let's just say that Scarborough Inn is not the place to bring your kids. People come here to make babies, not raise them. It’s not that I don’t like your adorable little bed-trampoline gymnasts. It’s that no one does.

For the most part, I’ve managed to get out this message on:

1. My website’s FAQ.

2. The terms and conditions on my booking page.

3. The text message I send out to guests on check-in day.

4. In the terms and conditions on third-party websites like Expedia, Airbnb, etc.

That said, I have hosted a non-zero number of kids. Through an innocent mistake, avarice, or a combination of both, guests have shown up to my desk with little walking time bombs in tow. Though I pride myself on my curmudgeonly nature, I’m not one to kick a family out without a place to stay in a busy beach town during peak season.

And the kids have been well behaved, especially when I have a heart-to-heart with them, look them in the eyes, and tell them I don’t like them. At all.

Don’t get me wrong. Kids should be kids. Just not here during summer. Off season, I'm happy to host your little sacks of... joy.

So if during summer you want to book a room in the best beach town between Assateague and Canada, and you have kids, please book elsewhere. You’ll probably get away with booking at my inn. But just know that if you do:

1. It makes me love the world just a little less.

2. I’ll add a note on your permanent record.

3. I’ll tell your kids you’re buying them a puppy when you get home.

So, to avoid any further booking mishaps or awkward encounters that your kids will bring up in therapy in five years, I’ve made this nifty image and posted it throughout my online booking pages, because a picture is worth a thousand words.

We've had great mostly kidless summers at the inn. You guests have been gracious in humoring the few sacks of… joy that have slipped through the cracks.

I love you all. Just not the ones under 10. And those of you between 10 and 30 are on thin ice so don’t get cocky.

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And Then There's First Night

First Night is OCNJ's very excellent New Year's Eve cavalcade of drama-free events. Concerts, shows, and museums all over town and free shuttle service connecting them so you don't have to worry about parking or teetotaling (even though it's a totally dry town).

So your options for this New Year's Eve:

A. Get overdressed for some lame party somewhere as you try to stay awake till midnight before driving home achy, hungry and stopping for street meat or fast food at a surprisingly crowded yet decidedly questionable spot surrounded by other cranky people whose nights followed basically the same script as yours.

B. Watch TV as you contemplate what you used to be.

C. Spend the night at Scarborough Inn under the same roof you're gonna party in a judgement-free zone where being dressed to the nines or in your comfiest PJs are all socially acceptable, as are the five power naps you'll take in the bed which is a 30-second walk from the badass fireside music and BYO party on the best heated porch anywhere in South Jersey... or any of the other Jersies for that matter.

Rooms have been going fast, and I haven't even begun advertising yet, until now. So start clicking.

Book here.

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Goodbye For Now

To summarize:

Holiday Historic Home Tour: It's awesome and sold out, but guests get in no prob, so book now.

First Night Rocks: Drama Free entertainment where you can dress to the nines or wear your PJs. Still some rooms left.

And mom's in great health, I'm older than Star Wars, my Christmas Playlist isn't stupid, I don't hate kids but I don't not hate them, and be sure to share that video of the North Street tree.

Have a very merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, and happy Kwanzaa.

And let's not forget National Bartender Day, National Green Bean Casserole Day, International Cheetah Day, National Cookie Day, International Ninja Day (sorry, Samurai; the international community doesn't celebrate you yet), National Blue Jeans Day, National Gazpacho Day, National Cotton Candy Day, National Letter Writing Day, National Brownie Day, Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day (too soon?), Dewey Decimal System Day (that's not an excuse to dress as a sexy librarian, people; let's keep it about the books), National Violin Day, National Horse Day (hey, violinists, maybe don't use horse-hair violin bows this month), Stupid Toy Day (I feel like that one is redundant with Christmas), National Sangria Day, Festivus (maybe hold off on the sangria until AFTER the airing of grievances), National Pfeffernüsse Day (I just Googled what that is, and now all I want are Pfeffernüsse), National Roots Day (I'm not sure if that's for family heritage, trees, or blondes), International Cello Day (the comment about horse-hair bows still applies), National Champagne Day, National Joy Day...

and a happy new year.